


Eight Year Old Lying Liars That Lie Sew The Seeds Of A Terrifying Bond Built On Pettiness And Expertly Disguised Sibling Protectieness

by Tht0neGal666



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: ...can you tell I wish they were closer? I really wish they were closer, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Allison, BAMF Number Five | The Boy, Challenges, Confrontations, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Kid Fic, Mentioned Reginald Hargreeves, One Shot, Protective Siblings, Reginald Hargreeves Bashing, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Secrets, Stolen Moments, b...baebies..., but in a cute way, or like. as bamf as 8 year olds get, they're both lying liars that lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24334993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tht0neGal666/pseuds/Tht0neGal666
Summary: "Don't you want to ask me what I don't get?" She blatantly prompted, and he ignored her. She was stubborn, though, and it only took a few minutes of silence for him to break.It's not like he was proving anything by staying quiet. The fact that he hadn't immediately blinked away from the conversation betrayed his interest."Why Number Three, whatever could you find incomprehensible?" He drawled.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves
Comments: 10
Kudos: 168





	Eight Year Old Lying Liars That Lie Sew The Seeds Of A Terrifying Bond Built On Pettiness And Expertly Disguised Sibling Protectieness

"I don't get it." Three admitted, falling dramatically on the couch. It was free time- One and Two were fighting, Four and Six were sleeping, and she could hear the faint sound of Seven's music carrying through the wall. Now was as good a time as any to ask about something that had been bothering her for a while.

"You? Not understanding something? Shocking." Five muttered, attention remaining on his incomprehensible (both in handwriting and material) scribbles. He sat in an over sized leather armchair just in front of her, making it easy to throw the closest thing- a ball of yarn? Since when did Four go to the library?- at him. He blinked a few inches to the left, focus on his math still unbroken. _Show off._

"Don't you want to ask me what I don't get?" She blatantly prompted, and he ignored her. She was stubborn, though, and it only took a few minutes of silence for him to break.

It's not like he was proving anything by staying quiet. The fact that he hadn't immediately blinked away from the conversation betrayed his interest. 

"Why Number Three, whatever could you find incomprehensible?" He drawled, and she looked around, making sure no one had snuck in on them. She was pretty sure they were sitting in a spot obscured by the cameras, mostly because Five has made it his personal mission to never be in sight of the cameras for more than a handful of minutes, and his splayed out work proved he'd been here for at least an hour or two. 

Perfect.

"Why do you keep talking back to Dad? I know you're too smart to think it'll actually get you anywhere." She whispered, almost struggling for the first time in years to make sure she didn't stumble over her words. "What's there to gain?"

Five doesn't freeze at her words, really, but his movements do get more...mechanical. Practiced. Like he was suddenly lost in his head and the pencil scratching into the paper did so on autopilot. Three focuses on that, because the brief glimpse she got of Five's face looked almost _panicked_. 

She wasn't sure he'd ever looked like that before, but she _was_ sure that it was _unnerving as hell_.

"I like to be right." He finally huffed, normal movements and scowl resurfacing but haughtiness sounding more fabricated then it usually did to Three's carefully-trained-for-deception ears. "He _claims_ that he's a scientist. He should be able to cope with an 8 year old pointing out everything they notice he's doing wrong."

"But you don't." She called him out, not to be dismissed. He raised an eyebrow in question, and she give another paranoid glance around before lowering her voice a little more just in case and clarifying. "You don't speak out every time you notice he's doing something dumb, Five. I've noticed him doing dumb things before, and there's _no way_ I saw them before you, but you didn't say crap."

She smiled a little at her carefully laid verbal trap. If he wanted to keep bullshitting her, he'd have to admit to being slower on the uptake then she is. Hearing him admit something like that just to get out of a conversation would at least give her a clue to the whole thing, a way to gauge exactly how important whatever his hidden reason is.

Because, if Five is willing to sacrifice his pride, even a little bit, then it's _pretty freaking important._

"Sometimes I don't bother listening to his monotonous droning, so I suppose it's possible I've missed things while not paying attention. To surpass myself while spaced out, your observation skills must be impressive indeed." He scoffed, sidestepping her genius trap poorly. She didn't even try to suppress her snort.

"Bullshit, asshole. As if you're mentally capable of checking out of a conversation- you're too hung up on being worried about missing information. Especially with Dad. What if he says something important?" She waved her hand above her head, as if swatting away the ridiculous claim, and pouted. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to piece it together. "There's a pattern to whatever you're trying to pull, Five. I just can't figure out what it is."

Five looked at her for the first time in the conversation (and probably the first time that month), and she refused to freeze or flinch under his analytical gaze. She kept playing with her hair, catching his eyes and staring right back at him, almost like it was a challenge. 

Almost, but not quite.

(There was a reason no one usually minded that Five had issues ripping his attention away from whatever he's doing. His attention always felt just a little too much like Dad's.)

"Well, if you're so smart, Number Three," He whispered, giving her a look that, for once, was intense instead of dismissive, "Then rub two brain cells together and figure it out yourself."

She wanted to scoff, but, really, she couldn't help grinning. She didn't move, as her brain spun in circles trying to figure this out.

Three was right. Whatever this was, it's _important_ , even though she didn't know quite how. And if it's so important to one of her siblings, then it was obviously something she had to know. After all, someone had to keep track of them, and it sure wasn't One or Two, no matter how much they argued over leadership.

Besides, she was curious. He was purposefully getting in trouble, and for what? What was she missing, that drove dear Number Five to subject himself to their father's uniquely sadistic wrath?

_Rub two brain cells together and figure it out yourself._

It should have been an insult, really. A part of her wanted to take it as an insult and move on. A part of him definitely hoped she would.

_Rub two brain cells together and figure it out yourself._

She knew what it was, though. They both did.

It was a _challenge._

**Author's Note:**

> .....a little bit of Umbrella Academy with my two favorite characters. As a treat.


End file.
